We have no washing machine. We had one in the temporary house but since we moved in to this house two weeks ago we haven’t had one. Having washed everyone’s pants and socks by hand (reminiscent of my university days – although I only used to wash mine not everyone’s, that would be weird and gross), I finally cracked and took everything to the launderette.
I had been avoiding doing so, hence the pant washing by (rubber gloved) hand, but it was getting desperate. I’d been avoiding it mostly because in situations like that I get a bit self conscious. Partly because I don’t have a clue what I am doing, and yet I want to look like I know exactly what I am doing. Also it feels a bit wrong airing my dirty laundry in public, so to speak. So I actually did a recce before, pretending to enquire about some dry cleaning, so that I could surreptitiously check out the machines, where to put the coins, the powder and so on. That way I could do a stealth ninja wash without drawing attention to my launderette, virgin self.
So once I’d done that I felt more confident and tugged my two big blue Ikea bags full of clothes (how can we have that much washing, when we don’t have any clothes?!) into the launderette. Probably not the stealthliest of bags considering the noise they make but nevermind. I crept (in a bit of a crinkly noisy way) over to the massive machine that said ‘family 3 load’ (I just wanted to get it done in one) and started loading it. Trying not to drop my pants on the floor, I hurriedly chucked it all in. As I started to do this, the man that worked there (launderetter? washer/drier? Clothes cleaner?) crept up behind me (talk about stealth ninja) and boomed in a very loud voice, “You don’t need that machine. It’s far too big. Use one of the smaller ones”. Cue everyone looking in my direction.
I replied, “Are you sure? I have two big blue Ikea bags full?” But yes, he was sure.
So I unloaded (still trying not to drop my knickers on the floor) and crinkled over to a smaller machine. But guess what? He was wrong. After about a quarter of the blue bag had been loaded, the machine was full. So I reunloaded, dropping my pants on the floor in the process and went back to the big machine and put it all in, shut the door and put my coins in to start it before he could come back and shout at me again.
I waited, doing my best ‘nonchalant, I hang out in launderettes all the time’ stance for it to be done. I then had to pretend that I knew how to work the dryers. I mustn’t have pulled off the ‘I have been here before, I know what I’m doing’ look though as a lady came over and asked me if I needed help. As I was at that point sorting through the clothes, picking out the pants and socks, I said no thank you. Unfortunately I then proceeded to put the coins in the slot for the dryer above, rather than mine, and it started without any clothes in. So I quickly unloaded the one I had loaded, put the clothes in the dryer that I had fed money into, and banged my head on the open dryer door in my haste to pretend I knew what I was doing. Fortunately, nobody saw me. Phew. Reputation as experienced laundrette patron intact. I can go back with confidence, knowing I know what to do next time. And hopefully not bang my head.
However, I probably won’t ever need to as our stuff is finally arriving tomorrow! Whoop whoop!